


There Is No Try

by TwoCatsTailoring



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: IgNoct, M/M, Timed Quest, noctis finally eats his vegitables, picky eating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 10:17:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11734998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoCatsTailoring/pseuds/TwoCatsTailoring
Summary: Parental Units tend to become brilliant at culinary hide and seek, and Ignis just wants Noctis to be *healthy!*





	There Is No Try

Ignis shifted slightly, careful to not disturb the sleeping Prince at his side. He’d rolled up in a ball, his mouth slightly open and his face lax in his typical post-coital snooze. At least this time, it was at a reasonable hour for sleeping.

Or at least sleeping for most of humanity. Three in the morning was nothing short of obscene for most people in terms of waking hours, but for Ignis, it was the time that was most productive for getting rote tasks accomplished. More involved things and agenda items that required input from other people had to wait until the daylight hours, but proofreading and summarizing, pre-prep for meetings and meal planning could all be done now, while the rest of the world was sleeping.

That latter task was the one that captured his attention now. It really was awful how picky and difficult to please Noctis had become. Ignis loved his Prince with all his heart, but there was no denying that his eating habits were that of a four year old, not an adult. And Ignis was growing tired of it. So, in an effort to either gain ideas or vent his spleen, he had resorted to a MogNet search of ‘how do I get my boyfriend to eat like an adult.’

It had been ‘how do I get my lover to eat like an adult’ but that had been a mistake of epic proportions. Eos’s inhabitants, it seemed, could still surprise him.

Still, the rabbit hole he had found himself in with his amended search parameters was deep. Many was a spouse unhappy with the dietary habits of their other half, some of which made Noct look like a true Altissian connoisseur. Ignis marveled at the notion that a forty year old man would actually be so foolish as to refuse to eat anything that wasn’t smothered in cheese.

But it was that very complaint that led him to what would be his salvation. The uphill battle with Noct did have a solution it seemed, and if there was a vaguely sinister glint to the edge of his glasses frames in the streetlights through the windows, at least Noct wasn’t awake to see it.

He was going to need cauliflower, cream, there should be some noodles in the pantry….

__

The shopping trip had been a success as all of his forays into the market district were, and as Noctis and Prompto spilled through the apartment in a mess of limbs and discarded boots, Ignis bit back everything but the most bland of smiles. To show too much would be detrimental to his mission.

“She was just so insistent,” Noct whined about some customer or another at the part time job that King Regis had insisted he take. “If it’s not there, it’s not there. I can’t just make cans of beans appear.”

“And even if you could, you wouldn’t,” Ignis deadpanned, earning him a snort of approval from Prompto.

“Something smells good,” Noctis said as he slid into the barstool and slouched into his folded arms. “What’s for dinner, Specs?”

“Macaroni cheese,” Ignis replied, giving the pot another stir. He could fairly hear the incredulous look that Noctis was giving him and replied without looking, “Some days it is not worth fighting you.”

Prompto laughed again and gave Noctis a shove, “See, something is going your way today, man.”

Ignis set two steaming bowls in front of them and began tidying up. Ignis tensed when, after just a bare minute, Noctis asked, “Did you do something different with this? It’s… I dunno. Cheesier?”

“Spicier?” Prompto offered. “Deeper?”

Ignis could have wept with relief. “I added a peppered cheese that I found at the shop. Is it not to your liking?”

Noctis couldn’t reply with his mouth full and not get a Look, so he waited, shaking his head while he finished chewing. “It’s good. Just wasn’t expecting it, s’all.”

“Then I’ll add it to the rotation,” Ignis said, a pleased smile masking his internal gloating.

Later, he almost reconsidered that decision when he realized that even a solid three minutes with a toothbrush couldn’t completely erase the heat of the peppers from Noctis’s tongue.  

__

Another evening, another attempt. Ignis didn’t want to press his luck too far, so for two days he fought and scraped Brussels sprouts into the garbage before sighing heavily and giving up. Only he wasn’t about to give up because now he knew just what to put into MogNet to get what he wanted.

Sneaking vegetables into ordinary food was something it seemed Insomnian parents were quite serious about.  He had to applaud their ingenuity. This time his shopping list included all of the usual things that Noctis was having none of, including broccoli and squash.

“Lasagne,” Ignis declared, setting the concoction of meat, cheese, and pasta (and finely pureed squash and broccoli) in front of his Prince and moving to wipe a spot of sauce from the counter.

“What’d you try to hide in it this time?”

“Nothing at all,” Ignis said, honestly. He _was_ hiding the good stuff, there was no _try_ about it.

Noctis gave him a hard look and dug through the ample serving with a sharp eye. Ignis huffed, Noct kept digging, and finally had to give up. “Two decent meals in one week? And no clucking over it? Are you sick?”

“Not in the slightest. You are old enough at this point that if you want to be taken ill from a lack of vital vitamins and minerals in your diet, who am I to stop you?” Noctis gave Ignis a worried look, and Ignis relented, rolling his eyes. “It’s been a busy week for me. I’m picking my battles.”

“If my dad’s giving you a hard time, you know I can….”

Ignis, in an extremely good mood because his plan was working like a charm, circled the table, tilted Noct’s head up, and kissed him. “You can’t and you won’t. Now eat so we can get through these meeting notes quickly.”

Noctis did not have to be told twice. The promises that Ignis’s eyes were making and the lack of dinnertime drama was enough to speed him through duty to get to pleasure.

__

In hindsight, Ignis had been drunk on the power of it all. He knew that now and should have had the foresight to not press his luck so much. But alas, he had and now a great deal of Noct’s trust in him was gone.

It had been the puree of carrot in the pizza sauce. He should have realized that Noct’s dislike of carrots was not just picky eating or stubbornness, but an actual dislike of the earthy sweetness – a dichotomy that his Prince just could not abide.

“Ignis, this is awful. What did you put in it?” One bite in and Noctis was pushing the plate away and making no effort to hide his displeasure.

“What are you talking about? It’s the same thing I always make.” That had been mistake one. If he had answered with an apology, admitted he’d switched brands of cheese or bought the tomatoes from a different vendor….

“No, what you always make is good. This is crap. It tastes,” Noctis had gestured vaguely, his face twisted in a pained expression. “Like dirt. Soil and a bag.”

“A bag?”

It was then, in the middle of Ignis’s chuckling incredulity at the comparison that Noctis realized where he knew that taste from. “You ass, you put carrots in it!”

Mistake two was not responding with a flat out denial to the accusation and instead opting for, “Why would I do that?”

“Because you so would!” Noctis’s face changed then from annoyance to anger to shocked outrage. “Have you been sneaking vegetables into everything?”

Ignis had recovered enough of himself to be able to fend this off with some level of consideration. “Of course not, when you can taste a single carrot in a large pizza.” Ignis threw down his tea towel and crossed his arms in what he hoped was a display of utter aggravation. “And just see if I ever try again!”

That almost failure had cost him Noct’s company for the evening but the unexpected reprieve had given Ignis the chance to research ways to make it up to Prince Picky Pants.

__

“I guess you’re forgiven,” Noct said around a mouthful of tender, moist brownie and a handful of Ignis’s backside.

“For what it’s worth, I am sorry I tried to trick you,” Ignis apologized again as he sliced long, slender pieces of potato for frying. “I won’t try to trick you like that again.”

And he wouldn’t, because he’d learned his lesson about the carrots.

What Ignis did not say was that he had put zucchini in the brownies and the thick chili simmering on the stove contained coarsely mashed beans and the ‘cheese’ sauce was the same cauliflower cheese that he’d used in the macaroni a week before.

Indeed, he would not have to  _try_ again.

**Author's Note:**

> Timed Quest entry for day 2 of IgNoct Week. "Noct eats his veggies."
> 
> As a parental unit, I can attest to the fact that sometimes this works and sometimes it SO doesn't.


End file.
